Praise

I don't know about you, but I thank the Good Lord Above every day for the following things, in no particular order:

1. General Dwight David Eisenhower - my ass wouldn't have made it out of Korea alive were it not for this great man. Not a big fan of him being president, but that's why I said "General D.D.E." He actually said, "Any man who wants to be president is either an egomaniac or crazy. " though I'm not exactly sure when he said that...

2. Cows - any one animal that can give you milk, butter, steak, and leather is OK in my book.

3. Mr. Whipple - Scot toilet tissue is an abomination on this earth. I'm dead set against it's use anytime & anywhere, and I don't care if you do have septic tank issues, Cousin Merle. We defeated the Nazis and the Commies; as Red Blooded Americans, we deserve more.

4. Canadian Club - a damn classy drink for a damn classy man. Me.

5. The Green Bay Packers - Greatest. Team. Ever. Period. And I don't want to hear anyone bitching about the goddamn New York Yankees. Pardon my French, but New York is a shithole city and the Yankees and all their fans can drop dead for all I care. George Steinbrener's a jerk, too.

6. Miss Michael Learned - why the Walton's was a great--check that--the greatest TV show of all time.

7. CPR - Hey, the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be. What can I say? But I got a few kicks in me yet, thanks to good old, cardio-pulmonary resuscitation.